Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Randomize
