Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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