Swine flu. Run for my life!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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