My friends, they love my intelligence
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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