I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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