There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
