I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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