if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
is that a dick in a sweater?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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