I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
