Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
