Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
there is glitter all over my balls
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
