Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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