They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
