Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize