Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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