I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
