Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
either way he was missing a nipple.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
