He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
