She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
