I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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