Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
