The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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