It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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