His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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