last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We don't watch enough power rangers
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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