So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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