Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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