I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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