So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
