How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
At least life still wants to fuck me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize