Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
