waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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