i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
