Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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