looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Dick very happy bro
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
