if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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