i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
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He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
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I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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