I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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