I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
