he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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