New invention idea: vibrating tampons
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Terrible idea I love it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
