This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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