He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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