i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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