It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
