last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
