it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
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