p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
