She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
