Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize