Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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