I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
