Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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