No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
