she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
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Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
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He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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