Welp...herpes.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize