It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
