Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
