he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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